In roughly chronological order...
- Ugh, myself. Why did I drink that blueberry beer last night? It was gross, and now my mouth is super fucking dry.
- Idiot in the Jeep Wrangler. All your darting back and forth on the bridge got you... three cars in front of me. There's a time and a place for the dodge and weave, and that wasn't it.
- Girl, those pants. No. NO.
- I don't care if it's your birthday, we all know you only have those bangs to cover up your huge forehead.
- Sourdough croutons?? What the fuck?! Oh wait. These are delicious.
- I get the attention to detail and everything but this meeting is excruciating.
- You turned off the frozen yogurt machine to clean it? Who cares, I'll eat dirty froyo! Eww, banana and vanilla swirl? I don't want biracial froyo.
- Girl every time you open your mouth, all I can think is that you look like a pig and don't believe in evolution. Keep it moving.
- Oooh, free chocolate chip cookie! Why does this taste kind of... aahh! Cranberry pecan?? Fuck you cookie. Fuck. You.