Things I've hated today.

In roughly chronological order...

- Ugh, myself.  Why did I drink that blueberry beer last night?  It was gross, and now my mouth is super fucking dry.
- Idiot in the Jeep Wrangler.  All your darting back and forth on the bridge got you... three cars in front of me.  There's a time and a place for the dodge and weave, and that wasn't it.
- Girl, those pants.  No.  NO.
- I don't care if it's your birthday, we all know you only have those bangs to cover up your huge forehead.
- Sourdough croutons??  What the fuck?!  Oh wait.  These are delicious.
- I get the attention to detail and everything but this meeting is excruciating.
- You turned off the frozen yogurt machine to clean it?  Who cares, I'll eat dirty froyo!  Eww, banana and vanilla swirl?  I don't want biracial froyo.
- Girl every time you open your mouth, all I can think is that you look like a pig and don't believe in evolution.  Keep it moving.
- Oooh, free chocolate chip cookie!  Why does this taste kind of... aahh!  Cranberry pecan??  Fuck you cookie.  Fuck.  You.